Carole Robin

I don't think I can accept "I can't." I will accept "I don't want to" or "I don't have it yet." But I don't have to accept "I can't" — own the fact that it's a choice you're making.

Giving advice to someone who didn't ask creates power differentials and enables powerlessness. Before jumping to advice, ask yourself: who am I really doing this for — them, or me?

We each have two personal antennae: one that looks outward at what's going on for others, and one that looks inward at what's going on for you. Keeping both tuned is the foundation of healthy relationships.

Most people think giving feedback will damage a relationship. It won't. Feedback given poorly damages relationships. Feedback given well — because you're invested in the person — actually builds them.

The 15% Rule: Don't leap from your comfort zone into the danger zone. Step just 15% outside it. You'll feel slightly uncomfortable but won't freak yourself or others out — and that's exactly where learning and deeper connection happen.

When someone reacts completely out of proportion to what you said, ask: "What did you hear me say?" Nine times out of ten, what they heard is not what you actually said. That one question can repair almost anything.

In the absence of data, people make stuff up. If you don't want others to define you incorrectly, disclose more — you'll have more control over your own self-definition, not less.

"Are you human after all?" That was the day I became a leader. To this day I know any of them would follow me anywhere.

"Talk about a pinch before it becomes a crunch." Small irritations grow when ignored. Substitute the word 'it' with 'I, you, we' — then ask yourself: am I worth it? Are you? Are we?